Hold on, don’t close the page just yet dads, she’s hasn’t seen read this and can’t hold you to it…. but seriously there are very good reason why dads should change diapers without shame or stigma. We probably lost the super macho-fellas that will never (or think they will never) change a diaper just by the title. I personally never thought that I would be changing diapers, and honestly speaking the ratio of mom vs. dad changing diapers in our home is about 75/25, with me putting in about 25%.
It’s not a stat that I’m proud of or something that I am ashamed of. If you’re a father to be or have a baby now, here are our top reasons why you should help change diapers to whatever ratio is right for your house.
Dads Should Change Diapers To Show They Care:
I’m not saying that the 75/25 ratio is where you should be, every family is different and there is no correct number. We need to look beyond traditions, and stereotypes to break the stigma that only moms can take care of babies. This not only does a major disservice to the baby since dads certainly can and should contribute to their life, but it also may leave a unnecessary burden on the woman and family as a whole.
I can honestly say that being present, taking part in the not so fun stuff and making sure I help has actually improved my relationship with my wife and my son. She respects me for not taking the easy way out and my son respects me for, well… cleaning his bum.
There is a strange bond associated with diaper changing, I can’t fully explain it, and maybe there are some good medical terms to do that. I think that simply stated, it’s just one small way for us to show we care.
Dads Should Change Diapers For The Experience:
Many families have fallen apart after the arrival of a baby, the moments that at first bring you so close together can very quickly turn against you. The intimacy decreases while the baby is up every few hours and preventing any attempts at a sex life. When they get older in most cases they find a way to sneak into your bed and lie down right in middle of mom and dad. In the little time we have to spend together, the majority of attention will now go to the baby and it is certain that many date nights will disappear. For a while your only bond is the baby and it dominates most conversations. All while this is happening, we are actually transitioning from being just man and woman to becoming mom and dad. So what does this have to do with dads changing diapers?
At some point if we don’t share enough experiences in our new roles as moms and dads, we start to grow apart. The parent that looks after the baby full time, dedicates their life to that child and almost everything they do is centered around the little person. When you finally make time and get grandma to babysit, you may sit down at a restaurant and get back in conversation. If one parent is completely disconnected from the experiences of the other, there is going to be very little to relate to. This is one of the reasons you see couples growing cold towards each other and losing a true connection. The baby is not to blame, it’s the mismanagement of new life experience that bring them apart. Parents cease to share enough experiences to keep them connected.
Changing diapers is just one of many experiences we can share to keep our relationships strong. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve burst out in laughter at strange hours of the day and night while changing diapers and I can honestly say that I would have felt left out if my boy had never peed on me the way he did on mom and mischievously smiled while he was doing it. So much of what we did, we did together as it was a first for both of us.
I can only imagine how difficult it is for women in cultures where dads are completely separated from these processes to build or stay connected emotionally and intellectually to their partner.
Dads Should Change Diapers To Help Moms:
We saved this one for last not because it’s least important, but because we felt that it’s common sense. However that coming from an editor who has had a child may be slightly presumptuous. In fact looking back on my own experience, there were times when I honestly thought to myself, what does she mean she’s exhausted? She has the luxury of staying home all day, doesn’t have to work and just has to feed, clean and cater to a baby. Sounds like a dream job right? How wrong I was!
The very first time you decide to take a baby for the most part of an entire day, you will realize that it is not a luxury, not easy, and actually a lot more physically, mentally and emotionally demanding than most jobs (including mine). The first few hours were great! Throwing around a ball, pouring in some milk, no big deal. But when you start to realize that the energy is going to keep up for the next 5, 6 , 7 or in some cases 10 hours your perspective starts to change. For the entire time you must be on constant watch and thoroughly entertaining for that young mind. Couple that with dealing with emotional ups and downs and it’s a recipe to drive even the most patient dads towards dialing mom and saying “Need help now!”.
Until we start to actually do the activities that are required of rearing a child, it’s much too easy for dads to feel that we are out working hard, while mom enjoys days of fun with baby. The risk of this reflecting in our attitude is very real and if you have never changed a diaper, chances are you have no idea as to how much work goes into every day. The more involved you are, the better you understand the situation.
The truth is that after just a couple of days of full time baby watch, many of us would actually chose to return to even the most demanding jobs.
I’m not sharing this experience to scare you, my fellow brothers away form looking after a baby. It’s just to show that it is a very demanding duty for moms, and that we would be wise to acknowledge and appreciate her for doing it. She will appreciate you for it and it may end up saving your relationship and marriage.
There are many reason why dads should not help change diapers, however we’ve chosen to demonstrate just three good reasons why dads should help. Fighting off cultural stigmas, traditions and the way that our parents did it, is sometimes necessary if we want to raise children that turn out better than ourselves.
Here is a video of a diaper champion, who against even his own physical restrictions proceeds to do what is necessary. This tough guy turned to mush in the face of a dirty diaper, but we at TheMansDen.com salute you sir for your dedication and effort! Warning – this is not for the faint of heart.
Tell us what you think, how often should dads change diapers? Or should they change them at all? We would love to hear your comments and perspective!